.6.14.09.." A Day in the Park. Priceless$"

I'm just now able to talk about this....
This happened, oh say about...3 years ago...
I'm not really quite sure WHAT I was thinking. But looking back.I wasn't.
The Mr. was out of town on drill or something. I had the crazy idea, one summer morning. Beautiful morning!
Why not go get 4 shots of espresso.Walk my dog in a park. With my pajamas on...yip. Like I said. NOT thinking.
So, off Kelly and I went. I'm sippin' on the rest of my mocha that I haven't finished in the truck yet...We are down a trail and NO ONE in sight! THEN. It came!
The caffeine-I'm-gonna-poop-my-pants-any-second-cramps friggin' started!!!
Oh my gosh! I immediately called my dog back to me to start heading...to where? I don't know?! Bathrooms? What bathrooms? I didn't see any flippin'..OH MY GOSH! The cramps were bad!
Any second I'm gonna go. I just know it.
So, I get back to where my truck was and I noticed FAR FAR FAR away...of course....I see the bathrooms. You squint and you see it.
I started sprinting across the park! Dead run! Then another cramp came! I suddenly stopped and squeeeeeeeezed reeeeeeaaallllll tight. Oh gosh not here. Not here. My dog thought at this point it was pretty much fun and started jumping on me! I pushed her away. Any slight movement of gravity and...that's it. Then, the sweats came. I started dripping with sweat! I got soooo hot I had to take my sweat shirt off. With my spaghetti strap PJ top on..who cares? not me at this point.
So, I thought I was good, and I took off running across the field again. Fast! Fast! Then I stopped and sqqqqqeeeeezed! Phew!....So, this continued ALLLLLLL across the field! Yip. There was another couple walking their dog. Of course. Any flippin' morning people!and YOU pick this morning! WWWHHHHYYYYY???
So all these people see is this crazy lady with her dog running across the field really fast and stop. like a statue. Very still. Then took off running again.
So, I get to the bathrooms..one is handicap and the other is a regular size. Who had time to tie their dog up? not me. I took Kelly in with me to the handicap.
Yes!!!! I made it! I made it! It was not a good sight, but all dignity went out the window at that point. Gone.
Then, looked over.
No toilet paper..yes people. Gross. I know.
So I sat there wanting to cry at this point. Tears of laughter..because this stuff only happens to me. Tears of "WHHHHYYYYY???"
So I'm sitting there thinking...
My sweatshirt sleeves.
Well, bottom line. I left the park with no embarrassing accidents and a lesson learned.
Always wear long sleeves when walking in the middle of no where. Just make sure it's a sweatshirt you don't like.
I believe I threw it out....don't remember what it looked like.


Anonymous said…
That is funny stuff. At this point I belive you when you say this stuff only happens to you. lol
I agree your experience is priceless but do you have to give too much information????!!!! Anyway, I'm glad you avoided an embarrassing situation by making it to the bathroom with the help of Kelly even though you had to use you sweatshirt instead of the usual item.
Jen~nae said…
AHAHAHHAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH Yep. thats all I have to say about thst! And if you think that was funny, wait till you get the privilege of having miss Jody True Who herself tell you it in person!!!! Oh man!!!! Cheeks hurting after that story-telling! lol You're freakin hilarious Jody! Only this would happen to you! :)
Lindsey said…
Hahahaha you crack me up!!
OK so the people in my office here think I am a nut case. I am laughing so hard I am crying!!!
I laugh every time I hear that story...
You for sure have some of the most odd things happen to you!!!
I am gonna miss the faces and expressions you use when telling these stories.
Hey but now look....you will have new people to tell all your old stories to!!!
annette said…
You have me in stitches.. I hate to say I can relate... but my son in law.. Paula's husband had that happen on like their second date. They went to a mexican resturant and then for a drive in the coburg hills... to make a long story short. He pulled over. .ran to the trees. .and came back without his socks! LOLOL I love teasin him about that. hugs

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