6.17.09.."Too many Cherries can what?.....Ohhhhh"

Ya, these innocent lil' creatures aren't so innocent. Sittin' there all red and..stuff. Looking so temping.TEMPTING that is the word! Evil lil' boogers...
Okay, I have another story for ya. This also happened oh.. say about..I think 7 years ago...?
I was heading to Central Oregon for the weekend, to go horse back riding/camping...., I was meeting up with a family that I became very good friends with. Just my dog and I. I was settled in for a 3- 3 1/2 hour trip....Oooooooo Wait! A cherry stand! I'll get 2,...no 3,.....naaaaaa... I'll get 4 pounds of cherries and share with everybody at camp! ;) Very nice of me! One point for Jody! {licking finger and striking the air}Ding!
I get to camp. With a bag of.nothing.I ate.the.whole.bag.
Oh yeah. I got your attention, didn't I?
I went riding all day.Got chased by Bucks! Yes! They chased us. On horseback...
We made dinner and sat around the campfire..just like in the movies...it was great! Kelly and I made a lil' bed in the back of my truck and we settled in for a nice long.....oh that too familiar...cramp came. Noooooooooooo! Not NOWWWWWW! WWWWWHHHHYYYYY??????
I really think at one point in my life God was playing jokes on me or something...this isn't right!
So, I got my head lamp on.toilet paper.kelly.{Just in case she had to go..she wasn't coming for protection. She'd just lick'em to death.}
I had no idea where I was at! So I just started walking.....found a lil' clearing.Looked around.Stopped and listened{EYES WIDE open at this point} You notice, when you can't SEE, you just open your eyes reeeeaaalllly wide in the dark.Hoping to...see? We all do it. Well, maybe just me.
So I do my thang, and head back to bed. :)
Next morning, new campers came in. We met up with them on the trail and went for a ride. Nice people. They had high strung Arabians, but were nice.
At the end of the ride, our new neighbors headed past us and kept going to their camp site...
Then all of a sudden! Hollering and screaming and all this commotion! We all looked and took off running in the direction of the screams! Running in a dead run, and running in an area I wasn't familiar with....oh, wait a minute. This is starting to look familiar.....oh no....
I slowed my pace down... we were heading right where I visited the night before. Oh gosh No! It can't be the same.....place.
We see a lady{ yes, one of our new neighbors..} laying flat on her back! In the middle of the trail. Her Arabian took off running past us!
Everyone asked what happened {as she's still just LAYING there!}Meanwhile, I'm frantically looking around for the evidence that "Jody was here"...phew! nothing.I'm safe!
The lady laying on her back says: "Someone took a shit in the middle of the horse trail and my mare spooked from the toilet paper! So she dumped me!"
Everyone was like.."What!!??? Here!!??? Who would do such a thing?"
{ I want to thank God for this moment for not letting animals speak. My dog would have ratted me out. In a heartbeat.No doubt. She would have stood on her hind legs and pointed her paw right at me.Then I'd have to kill her. So thank you Lord for the lil' things}
I even chimed in! "Ya! WHO would do such a thing!?Gosssssshhhh.."
Then, we all helped her up and was brushing her off.
Then.there.it.was.The evidence I couldn't find. Stuck to her SHOULDER!! Yip, only me.
The funny thing is: Everyone pointed out a "Best Pots" right next to our camp site.
I never told them it was me.


Jen~nae said…
Oh Jody True. :) You actually re-told that story very well! I was laughin just as much as when you told us in person!!! :) You're such a dork!!! And You SO aren't the only one who opens your eyes up wide in the dark! I do too!!!! HAHA!!! and I'm sure a lot more people do, too! Anyway....wow I just can't believe you ate that many cherries!!!! Lord.....And plus! I cant believe no one ever warned you about doing that! Lol Well, at least you know now. :) But even then cherries are soooo good..... :)
I can not believe you just told this story.....I have a loss of words.
Oh Jody....still makes me laugh I can see your expressions as you told me this story for the first time!!!
Miss Anne said…
this story gets me everytime.
omg. ha.
Lindsey said…
Hahahaha you crack me up!
HAHAHAHAHAHA, WOW....oh my goodnes that story could win an AWARD!
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh, I am dying!! I can only imagine how much you wanted to curl up and hide. Ammazing story, hahahaha! Also, your comment about doggy poo made me laugh. You are quite funny, Miss Fancy Pants! :o)
Anonymous said…
Jody, you have some of the best life experience stories. Though someof them seem to be more of proof why you shouldnt do something. This story made me laugh soo loud my neighbors were looking at me!!
The moral of the story is: only eat one portion (about 16 cherries) and leave the rest for someone else. That way you avoid another embarrassing situation. Also, make sure you ALWAYS KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS!!!! Fair enough?!
Robbie said…
Holy mackerel! My laughter's competing with the neighbors' mariachi-fest. I wouldn't have needed a talking animal to rat me out, I fear my horrified reaction would have given me away. Well, partly horrified, and mostly laughing hysterically... it almost makes me want to eat a can of cherries and see what adventure awaits me. Almost.
~J~ said…
Oh my goss, that is HYSTERICAL!!!! I'm gonna get fired for laughing out loud in the middle of this sea of cubicles. Told with so much panache. I'm hooked, you're awesome!!!
Lindy Loo-Hoo said…
You are HYSTERICAL! I see why Jen loves you. I wondered a little about why your girlfriend Kelly would lick the boogey man to death......then I realized it was your dog. Whew! Every time I get my giggles under control, I picture y'all picking up the dumped lady and she's got the "evidence" hanging on her shoulder, and you standing there all innocent (I'll bet your eyes were open even wider than when you were in the dark trying to see!)or the horror on your face as you head to the distressed screams and realize this territory is looking ALL TOO FAMILIAR. It reminds me of the time I went hunting with Rob's family, and they didn't believe in bathrooms, so I headed off into the dark with a blanket and Rob's sister to hold it as my "screen" but we wandered for what seemed like hours because there were hunting camps EVERYWHERE, and when I finally gave up and dropped my drawers, a big flash of lightning lit up the whole night, and TA DAH.....I was on stage! Talk about a deer in the headlights look!!! Good luck in Arkansas, but I hope you come back to Oregon and Jenny some day.

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