"Me? Watch too much Crime shows?Naaaaa!"

Well, it's no secret
in our little household my fav thing to watch
 {and always have going on in the background}
 if I'm just too busy to watch TV.
Reality Crime Shows.
Murder Mysteries That are real Life!
I'm talking about the
wife was killed by her husband and the whole time your yelling at the TV.
"I know you did it Mr!"
or
"Eww....Oh I bet it was the mailman who did it..
or
"Yip. He did it for the insurance money!"

Well, the Mr. says I watch soooo many of them that he never worries about me,
because I'm constantly referring to an episode I've watched recently.
I don't trust repairman coming to our house especially if  I'm home alone.
I tell'em my dog bites and please don't pet her.
I never say her name around them.
{she will turn to Jell-O}

Well!
So, last week I was home alone on my day off.
Doing laundry, packing for my Scrapbook Retreat, la-la-la.
So, about 10:30 the door bell rang.
I was just about to jump into the shower.
I FROZE!
{I was good in freeze tag in school.}
What do I do!!!?
I freaked!!!
I'm not expecting company!!
We live kinda out here, not a drive-by location!
Oh My Gosh!
Someone is checking to see if someone is home or not!
If I don't answer will they break in!?
I'm in the birthday suit!
This can't be happening!
{yes, in the 1 second after the bell rang.
I honestly thought all this}
Meanwhile, back on the homestead my viscous protector is sawing logs on
her temperpetic dog bed.
drooling.
snoring LOUD.
Yip.
She's my vicious guard dog.
I shake her!
"Kelly! Wake Up! Who's here!?"
Trying my darnest to get her all rawled up to let the intruder know
I have an attack sleepy dog!
She barks a meek little bark.
I repeat myself.
She tears through the house barking at something she has no idea
what.
She has no clue.
Meanwhile, I'm in the bathrobe.
Hiding in the hall.
Peeking around the corner looking at the front door.
{Our front door is glass.Soon to be changed}
The bell rings again!
OH MY GOSH!!!!
Persistent intruder!
cell phone on counter.
not good.
Kelly making me proud
and really barking now!
Yippy!
Just then after hiding a bit.
I look one last time at the glass front door.
Catching a glimpse of the
UPS truck
driving off.

Good dog.
You scared him away.


Comments

Kaycee said…
Hahaha that's great!
I am addicted to them too! And everything rushes through my head when the door bell rings, or I hear a noise in the house.
Only bad thing about the shows are when your husband is on night shift and you have watched about 5 episodes before you go to bed. I don't think I even got an hour of sleep that night haha.
Carolyn said…
The UPS man ALWAYS rings the door bearing gifts! (So when are you going to blog about the new toy that arrived on your doorstep?!) And the guys always look HOT in their chocolate brown shorts! I don't think one of the profiles on any of the crime shows has ever been a UPS driver...so you should be safe.
Jen~nae said…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT is AWESOME!!!! And these kinda stories are what get me in a good mood!!! :) :) You are one funny lady!!!

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